Considered musings and random commentary.
Friday, September 11, 2009
HATS OFF TO ACORN!
Hats off to ACORN, for supporting small, independent businesses who know exactly how hard it is to get good help! I think that they should also be recognized for their dedication to keeping small business owners from paying their fair share of taxes. We need more groups like this, organizing the fringes of society.
ACORN Prostitution Support, Part I
ACORN Prostitution Support, Part II
Or maybe I should have said, "Pants off!" "ACRON for the Pr0n!"
I wonder if they would help me obtain funding to start an import business dealing with rare spices and herbs brought in from the wilds of Mexico (or at least California), the far reaches of Laos, or Afghanistan? In doing so, we'd be helping small farmers, enterprising businessmen, and religious groups raise money for their own private projects! This could also count as helping chemo patients fight off nausea, helping ADD sufferers slow their brains down, and helping aging hippies who are trying to gain weight. Then there are all of the crack whores in the big city who use the products to give them the energy to compete with other crack whores...
Disclaimer: Crack is a bad, bad drug. Do not do crack. If you have a friend who does crack, tell them "do not do crack". Unless she's really pretty, and STD free... then I know some politicians who would help her further her carreer at the risk of their own.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Throwdown on the Food network...
Ok, I just have to say it...
Are there ANY people out there who watch the Food Network but HAVEN'T seen "Throwdown with Booby Flay?"
Are there any cooks, chefs, restuaranteurs, or food hobbyists who could be approached by Food Network and told that "we are shooting a special on ... " and don't know that is the same lead in for every Bobby Flay Throwdown?
Could they be savy enough for the Food Network to want to do a show on them, and yet stupid enough to not know anything ABOUT the Food Network? Why does that sound like a plotline from The Andy Griffith Show? "Barney is fooled into letting crooks into the bank at night..."
"Sam and Fran Cisco are famous for their Vegetarian Steak. They think the Food Network is filming them for a special "The Steaks of PETA", and then Booby Flay shows up to issue a Throwndown."
I should love it dearly if Booby would show up and do his "You think your mud pies are the best? Are you ready for a THROWDOWN!?" and have the challenged cook tell him "Forget about it. I don't like you. I don't like your show. I knew it was a setup when they first told me they were shooting a special on mud pies. I don't give a crap. Go to hell."
That would be a very sort episode. Unless, of course, Bobby punched the other guy, in which case, I would watch it.
If the other guy was a girl, even better.
And, if she was part of a special on Mud Pies of Ninja Assassins, and all her brothers where there, and they were Ninja Assassins, I would be in heaven. Of course, if they were GOOD Ninja Assassins, I wouldn't even have time for microwave popcorn... Bobby would be folded into a neat origami chef's hat and shipped back to FN headquarters by bike courier. From Sam Fran's Ciso.
I'm just sayin'...
Remember, once you Throw Down, you can't throw back up.
For what it's worth, No Bobby Flays were hurt in the posting of this message. I have nothing against Bobby Flay, other than he's a showman and I'm just a little fatigued by over exposure. I do not wish Bobby Flay harm.
However, I would PAY to see Paula Dean dragged behind the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile for a few blocks.