Congress wants to honor
The LATE Senator Ted Kennedy, co-opting his memory by changing the name of the abusive Health Care Bill to "Kennedy Care". They also have supplied a catchy slogan to go with the new name:
"Kennedy Care:
Haven't you lived long enough?"
Labels: health care, Kennedy
In memorium, Ted Kennedy
I just read where Teddy Kennedy is too ill to accept a Presidential "Freedom Award". He has championed many causes for this great country, including his hard, hard work to virtually enslave the American populace to socialized health care.
Mr Kennedy has had a long, full life. In honor of him, I think that we should give him a very special benefit... I know that he has plenty of money to afford the best health care, but in his deep concern over health care for the rest of Americans, we should give him the benefit of the legislation he's so in favor of.
The ‘‘America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009’’ would entitle him to some special "Advance Care Planning", where they will tell him that he's lived a long, full life, how satisfied he must be, and how much of a burden he has become. Then, I think they give him a pamphlet on assisted suicide, and wish him well.
They see him in a week's time, and ask him if he has considered what a legacy he would leave his children and loved ones with happy memories of him being healthy, instead of the pain of the memories of watching him deteriorate. They would give him a pamphlet on living wills and DNR orders.
The next week, they'd tell him that he's taking up too much time, and that he needs to decide soon, otherwise they won't be able to help him.
If he figures out what they're doing, and says that he is not in favor of ending his own life, then they'll tell him that he's being selfish and un-patriotic. They will offer him a prescription, but strangely, it will be for a single dose, with no refills.
If he still doesn't bite, then they'll recommend that he "is not right in the mind" and recommend psychiatric care. Of course, if he refuses that, then he is definitely depressed, in denial, and possibly a danger to himself and others. At this point, he will be committed (on short term basis, of course) and given some specific medications, and further counseled when he's calmed down.
With any luck, they will have talked him into freeing up valuable resources (air, food, scotch, personal space...) and we can get on with honoring his memory posthumously.
Here's to the great Senator Robert Kennedy! And Marylin Monrue.
Required Counselling...
The current topic about the Health Bill proposed by Obama and the Democrats concerns the "Advanced Planning Consultation." Basically, this means that when a person reaches 65 years of age, they will get "life planning" counselling. They would get "refreshers" every 5 years or so, possibly sooner depending upon their health. This would include many very strong proponents for the ‘‘America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009’’:
Ted Kennedy - 77
Nancy Polosi - 69
Robert Byrd - 92
Henry Reid - 70
Frank Lautenberg - 85
Daniel Inouye and Daniel Akaka (twins, evidently) - 84
Arlen Specter - 79
Dianne Feinstein - 77
Barbara Mikulski - 73
Jay Rockefeller - 72
Patrick Leahy - 69
Barbara Boxer - 68
Now, what kind of life counseling could you give someone 65 and older, tho', and how would it be different if their health was poor?
Do you think it would be
"Hey, you're doing great. I know that this is a bad time for you, but hang in?
there, you'll get through it, and we'll get you the absolute best in health
care."
Or would it be
"Mr. X... good to see you, you're looking well. Let me see my file... Ah yes...
you're 65 this month, aren't you? Yup, you're looking pretty bad. Seen it. Lots of times. Old person's health starts to fail, medical care eats up more time, effort, and money. It's hard on the kids. You feel crappy all the time, and let me tell you, it don't get any better! Heck, in a day or two, you'll notice your bladder's stopped working. Or rather, you're ability to control it's stopped -- the bladder itself is chugging merrily along. Oh, then your bowel control goes. Geez, what do you old geezers eat, any how. Do you know how disgusting it is to clean that crap up? Dang, I'm glad I'm not you...What? You feel "fine"? I see... classic denial. Maybe we should get you in to see a shrink. Yep, not ME buddy... I'd rather "off" myself than go through that. The indignity, the burden... no one wants to visit you then, 'cuz you're such a downer on everybody. They can't bear to look at you. Shucks.
But this is about you... how long have you been going through this? You don't 'feel' bad? That's strange, because it says here, you're 65. That's a long time, hunh? Well, it could be worse... give it a month, maybe two. Have you ever been bed-bound before? Man, when those bowels of yours let loose... you could lie there in it for DAYS! Don't worry tho', 'cuz we cover these rubber sheets. It will keep the mattress dry for weeks -- at least until someone comes to change you.
Oh, did that sound bad? Well, don't worry, because at that point, your mind will start playing tricks on you... you could lie in your own crap for days and it would only seem like 3 minutes. Of course, if you lie in it for 3 minutes, but it would seem like it was days. Well, don't worry, because at that point, you mind will start playing tricks on you...
Well, listen, I wouldn't worry about it... you're a valuable member of society, blah-blah-blah... Did I say "blah-blah-blah?" I'm sorry, I meant to say "etcetera, etcetera...".
OK, Times up for you... No, I mean, I have other old geez-... er, other "clients" to see. Old folks can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. NO, not you. Specifically. I meant in general. Always whining on-and-on about their health... real downers. Sometimes I'd wish they'll all just die, they're such a burden. You'd think they'd be satisfied -- they've lived a long life, they should give someone else a chance... free up resouces. Think of it like recycling. But no, they're all selfish old coots.
Anyway, back to you... you're looking pretty down. Listen, I can get you a prescription for some anti-depressants."
Now, I know that these politicians mean well... Well, they mean SOMETHING, but I wish that they would test the stuff they're planning to put into law...
For instance, Teddy Kennedy -- he's be an excellent one to test the "life counseling" on... he would have been "counseled" at least twice, once when he turned 65, then at 70. He would probably have been counseled a couple more times since his last "health episode". Let's only hope that he will do the right thing. It's patriotic, you know...
How hard could it be...
Ah, the good old days. Remember? Remember listening to the Dems talk about how hugely important health care is and "we just HAVE to pass this bill, RIGHT NOW!!"
And those silly citizens were all like, "well, what IN the bill?"
And those wise ol' Dems were all "well, like, if you needed to know, we'd tell you."
And those goofy reporters were like "oh, snap. So, really. What's in the bill?"
And the people cried
"Have you READ the bill?"
"Would you, could you read the bill?
We know you're "lawyers", but still..."
And the politicians said...
"We've only had for an hour,
We cannot read it in a hour."
"Well, could you read it in a week?"
"It would REEK within a week!
We could not do that, not even PEEK."
"A month then, or maybe TWO?"
"Well, that's the LEAST that we could do!
"Would you, could you,
read it then?"
"We could not read it, if we had TEN!
But we must vote NOW, not then."
"Well, why not? You know, this is your job.
To read these things, not act like a snob."
"We don't HAVE to read them, you stupid mob,
We just vote on 'em. THAT's _our_ job."
"Would you like to know how we feel,
about this thing -- it can't be real!"
"Just trust us, rube, 'tis quite a steal.
We know what's in it, we just won't tell.
If you don't like it, you go to HELL!"
"But you work for US, so we were told.
How did you come to be so bold?"
"You all got suckered, you bunch of sheep.
Now leave us 'lone, and let us sleep."
Ohhh, SNAP!
American People to government: "We don't like what you're doing. This health care is a BAD idea. It wasn't thought through, you didn't even ASK _US_, and we can't afford it. If it's so important, shouldn't it take MONTHS of discussion, rather than sticking a bunch of vague legalease in, that COULD be interpretted as just about ANYTHING?"
Obama to America: "Sit down, and shut up!"
American People to their representatives: "We don't like what you're doing. You didn't ASK us is THIS is what we want. You are indebting us and not representing us at all!"
Nancy Pelosi to America: "You're UN-AMERICAN!"
American People to their representatives: "Hey! We want to talk to you! We demand that you listen to us, you're our representatives, and you're not listening!"
Harry Reid to America: "You're UN-AMERICAN!!!"
Barney Frank to America: "You people are dumb as a box of rocks. We don't HAVE to listen to you, we p()wN you."
Hillary Clinton: "*I* am the secretary of state, NOT my HUSBAND!"
American people: "Uh... what? What does that have to do with..."
Hillary Clinton: "IT'S NOT UN-AMERICAN TO QUESTION YOUR GOVERNMENT!"
American people: "Wow. Yeah."
Hillary Clinton: "... and, ... you are too stupid to run your own lives."
